a new mantra

Each day now is ripe with opportunity for using my new mantra.

Quite a few such moments happen during Rich's twice-a-day IV antibiotic infusion.

When, while priming, the antibiotic pours out of the tube and we don't yet remember what to push or pull or twist, and meanwhile it's running on Rich's pant leg and onto the floor...ohshit ohshit ohshit.

And when I drop the syringe, now no longer sterile and need to prep another, or when I forget to change the bag, or uncrimp the tube, or Rich steps on his tube and feels it re-arranging itself in his chest, or when it's ten at night and I'm removing the tube and the damn thing is stuck in his arm...ohshit ohshit ohshit.

But When Rich returns from a short walk and says his right leg is weak, and he can't hold it up, we both agree that another mantra is called for.

Fuck this shit.

There is some good news.  Rich's spinal leakage appears to have stopped.  He can now sleep lying down.  He may be able to shower today.

Still, this I know.  There will be plenty of opportunity for practice.

Candace